Northern Centre for Child Development

Recognising Eating Disorders

Signs to be on the lookout for:

• Your child is engaging in dieting and/or sudden exclusion of food groups (including suddenly becoming vegetarian or vegan or developing a self-diagnosed ‘intolerance’). 
• Finding evidence of bingeing (e.g., food disappearing from the fridge or pantry, empty wrappers in the bin/bedroom, etc.) 
• Frequent bathroom visits during and after meals. 
• Engaging in excessive or compulsive exercise (e.g., pushing themselves to exercise when sick or injured; feeling an obligation to exercise with little pleasure obtained). 
• Avoiding social situations (especially related to eating, such as meals out or dinner with the family). 
• Sudden interest in food preparation and planning (e.g., cooking, looking at recipes etc., although they may not consume the food themselves). 
• Changes in how they dress (typically baggy/loose fitting clothing, even in warm weather). 
• Denying they are hungry or eating very slowly. 
• A distorted body image. 
• Appearing highly anxious, moody, or irritable. 
• Rapid weight change.
• Fatigue, including difficulties with concentration. 
• Dizziness or fainting. 
• Cold sensitivity. 
• Changes to their menstrual cycle (including periods stopping completely). 

While it can be incredibly confronting, it is essential as a parent that you act as soon as possible. Your child’s brain and body may be experiencing starvation, meaning they are not able to make good choices for themselves.

What to do if you are concerned

• Complete the ‘Feed Your Instinct’ questionnaire. This is a great Australian resource which produces a report you can give to your GP, as well as giving you specific strategies to support your child. 
• Visit your GP for a double appointment (ideally one experienced in working with young people). They should be checking your child’s pulse, blood pressure and running blood tests at a minimum (not just measuring their weight). They will identify your child’s medical risk and whether they are eligible for support under a Medicare Eating Disorder Management Plan or a Mental Health Care Plan. 
• Eating Disorders Victoria and The Butterfly Foundation both run helplines to discuss your concerns and help you identify appropriate support options. 
• Encourage your child to speak to their school counsellor/psychologist, or another mental health professional with training in eating disorders. This may include a professional who is ‘credentialed’ in eating disorders. See https://connected.anzaed.org.au/ for more information. 

The 5^th-11^th of September is Body Image and Eating Disorders Awareness Week. These two topics are often misunderstood, so what better time to discuss exactly what they are? 

Body Image

Body image refers to the attitudes, beliefs, and perceptions we have of our own body. Whilst often a heightened concern during adolescence, we also carry it into adulthood. Research shows accepting and respecting our bodies (without always loving them!) is associated with higher self-esteem, self-acceptance, and an overall healthier outlook. In contrast, negative body image is associated with a higher risk of mental health issues and the pursuit of extreme methods to change one’s body. 

Eating Disorders

Eating disorders are changes in behaviour, thoughts, and attitudes towards food, eating, weight or body shape that have a detrimental impact on an individual. They affect approximately 9% of the population. Contrary to popular opinion, less than 6% of those with an eating disorder are underweight. Regardless of whether an individual is underweight or not, there can be serious, life-threatening effects; including damage to major organs, changes to the brain, reduced bone density and hormone irregularities/infertility. 

Unfortunately, in our image conscious society, we often normalise or downplay unhelpful beliefs and attitudes. An eating disorder is not a ‘lifestyle choice’ nor a ‘cry for attention’. Most importantly, dieting is not a normal part of life. Causes are complex (a combination of genetics, personality traits, life events/experiences and previous engagement in dieting behaviour). But it is important to know eating disorders are not the fault of parents or the young person. They are however something to be taken seriously, ensuring those affected receive appropriate support as soon as possible. 

What can I do?

Here are some suggestions for how families can support their children in this space: 

• Encourage your child to view their body as a vessel that allows them to do things they enjoy. 
• Expose your child to a range of body shapes. 
• Encourage your child to follow their body cues, and to eat when they are hungry. 
• Don’t put value judgements on foods; foods are not ‘good’, ‘bad’ or ‘junk’. Similarly, emphasise that what we eat does not reflect on us as a person. 
• Eat family meals together as much as possible. 
• Refrain from engaging in any talk regarding weight or dieting in front of your child. 
• Support your child to be media literate- images on social media are often digitally altered and do not reflect reality. 
• Foster positive self-esteem and encourage them to engage in activities they enjoy and feel accomplished in. 

If you would like to know more, please contact Eating Disorders Victoria (https://www.eatingdisorders.org.au/) or the Butterfly Foundation (https://butterfly.org.au/). 

Olivia is an Educational and Developmental Psychologist who has worked in a range of settings, including schools, universities, the not-for-profit sector and private practice. She has substantial experience working with children, adolescents and their families, including completion of neurodevelopmental and learning assessments. Olivia has a special interest in eating disorders and is passionate about ensuring young people with this presentation receive appropriate and effective supports. Olivia strives to build warm and collaborative relationships with children, adolescents, parents and other professionals involved in a child’s life.

Across the last few decades, research has shown the importance of understanding and responding to emotions in healthy ways. Emotional intelligence is actually thought to be the best indicator of a child’s success. 

Children aren’t born with the skills to respond to and cope with their emotions, they learn through the adults around them. Even as adults we struggle with the very skills we hope to teach. So where to start?

Tips

Here are a few ideas for how to include emotions talk in your everyday life. This will support children in becoming emotionally attuned and resilient in the process. 

• Use your child’s favourite characters from books, computer games, tv shows etc. to initiate and talk about emotions. For example, ‘Emma is frowning, it looks like she is feeling angry. When have you felt angry?’
• Make a game of pulling different emotions faces and have your child imitate and guess the emotion. This can support social and emotional development as some children struggle with knowing what emotions look like on their own face, or on the face of others.
• Read books that focus on different emotions with your child. Some great ones we use are; The Feelings Series by Tracey Moroney, The Colour Monster by Anna Llenas, The Red Beast by Kay Al-Ghani or The Huge Bag of Worries by Virginia Ironside.
• Support your child to explore emotions through play. Adding an emotion focus to everyday games, e.g. drawing emotion faces or doing dances for different emotions. Also you might add emotional elements to imaginative play, e.g. caring for a baby doll as it experiences different feelings, wondering about or labelling a toy’s thoughts and feelings; “all the animals went inside without the pig, he is sad because he got left behind”. 
• Model healthy expression of emotions to your child by labelling your own emotions or offering your own examples in an age-appropriate way, e.g. “I had to speak at a meeting today. I was so nervous I had butterflies in my stomach. Do you ever get butterflies when you’re feeling nervous?”
• Help your child to label their own emotions and the feelings in their body, e.g. For ‘I can see you squeezing your fists, you look like you are feeling frustrated?’

The first step to learning how to respond effectively to emotions is being able to accurately identify your own emotions. Helping families to make emotion talk a regular part of their routine is an important part of supporting children’s emotional development to flourish. 

By Associate Psychologist Olivia Smith

While it is far more common nowadays, parents still worry about the impact of their relationship breakdown on their children. As a result, some parents stay in relationships longer than they otherwise would. However, children are far more perceptive than we give them credit for. A separation which results in less conflict and a more harmonious home positively affects everyone.

That said, there are many steps parents can take to minimise the adverse effects of separation on their children. It is important to expect and normalise a range of emotional reactions, including; grief, anger, guilt, worry and feelings of rejection. Possibly, your children may even revert to an earlier developmental stage, with behaviours such as bedwetting, thumb sucking or emotional outbursts. This is completely normal and usually transitory in nature. 

Aim to:

• Create a ‘business-like’ relationship with your ex-partner. Try to communicate and collaborate about parenting in a respectful and calm manner. 
• Introduce change gradually. Initially, try to keep other parts of children’s lives the same, (e.g., contact with grandparents, school they attend and house they live in). This also includes introducing a new partner. 
• Be open to answering your children’s questions, including being honest about what you do and do not know yet. 
• Support your children’s ongoing relationship with their other parent. 
• Make others in their life aware (e.g., teachers). 
• Maintain consistency and stability across households. 
• Reassure your children that the separation is not their fault and does not mean either parent loves them any less. 
• Take steps to manage your own stress. 
• Both be involved in caregiving (and live close to one another where possible).

Avoid:

• Arguing with your ex-partner in front of your children. 
• Criticising your ex-partner in front of your children. 
• Using your children as a ‘messenger’ to your ex-partner. 
• Using your children as emotional support or a pseudo-partner. It is important your children are protected from adult worries and responsibilities. Seek support amongst friends, family members or a mental health professional. 

Following these guidelines provides your children with the ability to process and accept your separation. It also allows for them to maintain a positive relationship with both parents. If you would like more information please see https://www.familyrelationships.gov.au/parenting.

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By Psychologist Judy McKay

If you have a child with ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) you might find yourself regularly having to bust ADHD myths and educate others about what ADHD actually is and is not. Below are some commonly held ADHD beliefs and the evidence for why they simply aren’t true!

“Only boys have ADHD”

Research suggests that boys are up to twice as likely than girls to be diagnosed with ADHD. Why? We think that girls with ADHD can sometimes be overlooked or misunderstood because they don’t always seem hyperactive. Instead, these children might show more of the inattentive type symptoms of ADHD (e.g., daydreaming) which are less widely identified and understood. Therefore, ADHD in girls is said to be underdiagnosed.

“ADHD is just an excuse for poor behaviour”

Children with ADHD do not have an attitude problem! They struggle to focus, plan, organise, problem solve, self-regulate and self-monitor because of the way their brain works (in particular their executive functioning part). Just like all children, they are better able to focus when doing something they enjoy or something that is new and exciting or rewarding.

“ADHD is caused by poor parenting”

ADHD is a neurological condition meaning that the child’s brain is simply wired this way. Whilst some studies show that the way a parent manages their child with ADHD can help to increase or decrease child-parent conflict ultimately, ADHD is NOT due to parenting.

“ADHD is a lifelong condition”

Most children with ADHD will continue to experience symptoms into adulthood. However, the impact that their symptoms have on their everyday functioning can reduce significantly as they get older and as they learn ways to cope and manage their ADHD.

Credit: 

https://thrivingwithadhd.com.au/adhd-myths/

https://www.understood.org/articles/en/common-myths-about-adhd

Have you ever asked your child how their day was at school, only to be met with radio silence? Or the shortest response possible, such as “okay” or “it was fine”? Such responses can be difficult for us as parents to sit with as we long to know about the experiences our child had throughout the day – what they learned in class, any uplifts they experienced, who they spent time with at school, and any challenges they may have encountered or overcome.

Why is it hard for some kids to talk about school?

For starters, the question “how was school today?” is a big one to answer! While some kids enjoy talking about their school day, for some it can feel like pulling teeth. While a young person may want to say “I had so many things going on today in class and a bunch of stuff also happened in the yard with some of my friends as well, but I have no idea where to start with all this”, it can feel much easier to say, “Yeah, today was okay”. Even on a typical day at school, young people can face a wide range of experiences and emotions that range from joyful highs (e.g., making a new friend) and challenging lows (e.g., disputes with peers). Couple this with the large number of demands young people may face, having to remember, mentally relive, and recall their day can be a big ask.

Benefits of talking about school

Regularly exploring with your child about their day at school can help show them that you’re interested in how they are going and in their experiences. Talking about their day can boost their connection with you. Further, it can also help them process the many emotion-rich experiences that emerge through the academic and social endeavours of attending school. Such conversations can also give you insights into your child’s difficulties, how they address challenges at school, and any areas for additional support they may need.

So, what’s a parent to do?

Here are some tips that may help young people start to share a bit more about their school day:

• Set the scene: Take the time to connect with your child before asking about their day. This may involve hugs, having a laugh together, doing something fun, or sharing a snack. Aim to create a calm and conversation-inviting atmosphere that can help your child feel at ease prior to recalling the day’s events.
• Getting specific: Rather than posing general, all-encompassing questions (e.g., how was school today?), learn some details about their school life (e.g., names of friends/teachers, weekly class schedule, upcoming or current class projects) and have a go at more targeted questions that enquire about:

• Use observations: From a young person’s perspective, questions that seemingly come out of the blue can be tricky to answer. Instead, use what you’ve seen or noticed as prompts (e.g., I saw you running over to that group of kids after I dropped you off at school this morning, what did you end up playing with them?)
• Sharing personal experiences: Try telling your child about your day through light and casual conversation, as well as discussing specific things that happened. This can help young people develop a greater understanding around how to talk about their own day. Sharing your own past school experiences (e.g., favourite subjects or games to play during recess, who your close friends were) can also help prompt young people to share their own experiences.

So if that age-old parent question fails time and again to get a chat started, I encourage you to give some of these alternate approaches a try! They may be just the thing to create a space for some big and important conversations that can help our children reconnect with us after a long day at school.

Unfortunately, the mental health of infants is often overlooked or misunderstood by most of us. One thing we do know, however, is that early experiences affect brain development and can shape a person’s mental health in the long-term. 

Infancy is regarded as a critical time for the development of a range of skills, and this includes emotional and social development. Infants learn from those around them how to experience, express and manage their emotions, how to form secure close relationships with others, and how to explore and learn from the world around them. 

Signs that an infant is experiencing good mental health include: being engaged in their environment and with those around them, and managing difficult emotions with the support of their caregiver. Although they cannot articulate to us that something is wrong, they will often communicate distress through significant changes in behaviour (such as in feeding, crying and sleep patterns). Some infants are more at risk of poor mental health due to factors such as medical complications, temperament, adverse events, and their caregiver’s own wellbeing.  

Attachment plays a key role in helping a child navigate stresses. Attachment refers to how consistently responsive caregivers are in meeting the emotional and physical needs of their child. A ‘secure attachment’ can act as a ‘buffer’ of sorts to help limit the long-term impact of possible adverse events a child may experience. This can be fostered by a caregiver:

• engaging in play with their child
• repeating the sounds their infant makes
• using a calm and soothing voice and rocking their child gently when distressed
• returning an infant’s smile

While we cannot always change the life circumstances in which we find ourselves, we can still foster a secure relationship with our infant. Both prevention and early intervention for infant mental health is key. 

If you would like further information, we would recommend the following resources: 

The Raising Children Network:

https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/health-daily-care/mental-health/mental-health-babies-toddlers

Barnado’s Northern Ireland:

https://www.barnardos.org.uk/sites/default/files/uploads/Information%20for%20Parents%20booklet.pdf

Tweddle: 

Parent Info Hub

Far too often in our work we hear people talk about children’s ‘bad’ behaviour. We hear comments like they “know better”, they are “attention seeking” or are trying to “get a rise” out of the adults around them. Just like adults, children are constantly striving to do their best and receive positive attention from those around them. Unlike adults however, children don’t always have the skills to do this in an effective and adult friendly way. When we are trying to understand and change a child’s behaviour, it is essential for those around a child to learn how to look beneath the behaviour and respond in a supportive and skill-building way. 

Different families will have different expectations about what is appropriate, acceptable behaviour and what is considered inappropriate behaviour in their house. Some of the behaviours families say they find challenging in school-aged children include defiance (i.e., refusing to follow parent requests), lashing out (i.e., hitting or kicking others), lying and anger when a child does not get their way. 

When I speak to families or teachers about children’s behaviour in the clinic, one of the first places I start is trying to understand the skills that are needed for a child to behave in what the family considers to be an appropriate way. This typically involves:

• reviewing developmentally appropriate behaviours for that age and ensuring that we are not expecting too much of a child too soon, and
• taking a closer look at the many emotional, social and independence skills that can get in the way of a child doing what is expected of them.

When breaking down skills involved in difficult behaviours, we are often reviewing a child’s ability to do what is being asked of them and regulate or manage the emotions that may come up.

For example, if parents are concerned about defiant behaviours when asking a child to get ready for bed, we will review if the child is able to complete all of the steps required to meet this request. Can they complete these steps consistently and without adult support? Is the child experiencing any big emotions that may be getting in the way of them completing this, for example feeling anxious about bedtime?

In breaking down the behaviour in this way we are often able to identify areas of real difficulty for a child, for example they may be having trouble holding the multiple steps involved in getting ready for bed in mind while completing these, or they may be feeling nervous about going to bed alone in the dark. When we can identify and support the areas in which a child is experiencing difficulty, we see a decrease in the need to use more challenging behaviours to compensate for, or distract from, these difficulties. 

In our work, a message we give to families and teachers when discussing “bad” behaviour is this:

when children have the skills and support to do well they will.

When a child is displaying “bad” or difficult behaviour, it is therefore essential to look beneath this behaviour. We must try to understand and support the things that may be getting in the way of them doing the best that they can.

Parents and carers, today we celebrate YOU!

We know there can be some incredibly difficult times in caring for and raising children. It may be that our kids are having challenges, we’re having challenges that affect how we spend time with and communicate with our kids or even external things like lockdowns, not enough sleep in the family, grief and loss and so many other things that are out of our control.

You’re doing a great job!

June 1 is Global Day of the Parent and the team at Northern Centre for Child Development are taking the opportunity to pause and say WELL DONE and let you know that you are appreciated! We see you, and what an amazing job you’re doing.

On this special day, we encourage to take up the challenge of trying these two things:

1. Spending time with carers and family plays such an important role in child development. This week, try to spend some quality time with your kids – you might only get 10 good minutes depending on attention span (and what side of the bed they’ve woken up from!) but enjoy the bonding time and know that this one thing can make a big difference.
2. Do something nice for you. Again, it might only be 10 minutes depending on your commitments, but take a moment to be your own friend. It might be listening to a great song uninterrupted, buying yourself a cupcake, or making a dinner reservation to look forward to. You deserve it!

Thank you for your commitment to care for and raise great children.

If the pandemic taught us something it was how to manage (or survive) increased work and family demands. Now that the pandemic has slowed, the cost of living continues to rise and life seems ‘busier’ than ever, how do we navigate ongoing work and family demands? 

• Strive for progress not perfection – Managing work and family demands is challenging and not always feasible. Be kind to yourself and set small, achievable goals e.g., pick one activity or task this week you will prioritise for work and family.

• Re-evaluate what’s important  – As a society we tend to measure success and productivity based on how ‘busy’ we are. Being busy doesn’t necessarily equate to efficiency, achievement and quality of life. Think back to lockdown – what were the things you and your family really missed and what were the things you were ok to go without? This might assist you to distinguish the necessary from the additional activities and tasks in your life. 

• Boundaries – Know your limits and your self-worth. Saying ‘no’ is easier said than done however sometimes it’s required. Try to differentiate what you think you “should do ” versus what you “need” or “want” – listening to your ‘gut’ can be helpful here.  Where possible, try to put boundaries in place around work hours, after-school activities and helping others.

• Put yourself first when you can – “Save yourself before saving others”. In order to help and support others we need to be in a good headspace ourselves. If we are burnt out or our cup is full and overflowing, we are not going to be as efficient or productive as we can be. Find small moments amongst the chaos to do things for yourself – a cup of tea, a walk with a friend or your favourite meal etc.

“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit – and you’re keeping all of these in the air” Some balls are made of rubber and they bounce back if dropped. Others are made of glass and can be damaged or marked if dropped. We must understand this to help us strive for balance in our lives.  Bryan Dyson – Former CEO of Coca Cola.