As parents, each of us try our best to manage what seems like an ever-growing list of demands on our time and energy throughout the day. Now that school is back in session, re-establishing and maintaining those weekly family routines can be particularly challenging.
While occasional rushing in the morning, pushes to get that homework done after school, and fatigue-riddled ‘goodnights’ are bound to happen from time to time, when they become the norm these transition points can end up feeling like a chore rather than an opportunity for connection that can support our child’s emotional development.
As young people can experience so much in a given day, one way to support your child’s emotional wellbeing and processing is to engage in calm connection with them during these important 9 minutes of the day:
The first 3 minutes after they wake up:
- Rather than… abrupt wake-ups and racing through breakfast
- Try starting off the morning with cuddles and talking about what we might be looking forward to most today (conversation cue cards can be a great way to get started)
The first 3 minutes after they get home from child-care or school:
- Rather than… letting them rush to their screens, asking about homework, or greeting them from another room
- Try greeting them face-to-face, sharing a snack with them, and talking about the ups and downs of the day – starting with lighter questions (e.g., what was something that made you laugh today) can help a young person replay the day in their minds, which can mentally prepare them for tougher questions (e.g., what was the most challenging thing you had to do today, was there anything that upset you)
The last 3 minutes before they go to bed:
- Rather than… sending them to bed on their own or immediately leaving after tucking them into bed
- Try talking about what they were most grateful for today, asking about the best part of their day, and sharing some words of encouragement – supporting them to feel seen, heard, and valued can be a great way to end a long day (even if we lost some of our patience during that night’s prolonged bedtime routine)
It’s just 9 minutes to greater connection and a sense of calm for all. Give it a try!
