Amanda Abel – Director & Psychologist
The last couple of years have been a bit tricky for me as I care for two of the elderly members of my family (my dad with dementia and my aunt with alzheimers) who both live in different directions multiple hours from Melbourne. I’m very familiar with the Hume Highway as I slowly settle into the groove of this new role of ‘carer’. I don’t think anything can prepare you for this phase of life as a parent when you also become a carer of parents (and parent figures). But it has got me thinking about the massive load we all carry as parents – often unique in their composition. Many parents are working incredibly hard to support the mental health of their kids, others have the added component of parenting neurodivergent kids, while a lot of parents are neurodivergent themselves, bringing it’s own challenges. And then theres the aspect of managing marriages, relationships and friendships, and often trying to balance all of this with a career while simultaneously holding it all together. It reminds me of the glass balls analogy
We all have our struggles as parents and it’s important to acknowledge and validate this regularly. There’s only so much we can manage at any point in time, so sometimes something’s got to give just so we can keep our head above water.
It’s the same for our kids. As we move through the school term, many families are noticing emotional ups and downs as children adjust to new academic demands, friendship changes, and the return of busy routines. These fluctuations are a normal part of development, particularly for children who are sensitive, anxious, or neurodivergent. And sometimes we (and our kids!) have to make compromises to ensure everyone keeps swimming instead of sinking. Remember, if you have to lower the homework standard for your child, navigate shorter days at school, or tolerate the frustration of a messy house yourself, it won’t be forever. This is just about doing what’s best in this moment as a parent.
Juggling all the balls is frustrating, and sometimes we have to push ourselves to keep being the sensitive and responsive parent when all we want to do is the complete opposite. Or at the very least, we’d love a break! I can’t recommend enough the importance of pausing before responding to your child or teen’s big feelings – particularly when you’re under extra stress. The pause allows you to ask yourself how you are feeling, before shifting to how you think your child feels and finally what you think they might need from you in this particular moment. Identifying how we feel first can stop us from responding to our child from a place of our own frustration, exhaustion, anger etc. This way there’s a better chance of meeting their emotional needs more accurately in that moment.
If you are feeling unsure about how to support your child, please remember you are not alone. We are here to support your family.
Amanda Abel is a mum, psychologist and founding director of NCCD. With more than two decades of experience supporting families — including almost 20 years in clinical practice — Amanda is committed to helping families thrive. She is highly experienced in Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnostic assessments and is passionate about making what can feel like an overwhelming process clear, supportive, and empowering for families.
Before establishing NCCD, Amanda worked across public and private settings, gaining broad experience supporting children and adolescents with diverse developmental, emotional, and behavioural needs. She is a registered Circle of Security Parenting® facilitator and SOS Feeding Therapist, supporting children with feeding challenges and helping parents build secure, responsive relationships.
Beyond her clinical work, Amanda is co-founder of Toddler Toolkit, an online parenting program developed alongside paediatrician Dr Daniel Golshevsky (Dr Golly) to provide practical, evidence-based guidance for parents of young children. She has also consulted to global child-focused organisations including LEGO, Roblox and Mattel, advocating for environments and digital spaces that support children’s wellbeing and development.